Soccergirl, incorporated

EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP!!!

2005-11-22T15:38:00.000-06:00

NEW SHOWS
NEW FEED
NEW WEBSITE

and now.....

NEW MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Come check it out:
soccergirl.podshow.com

Podshow to the rescue!!

2005-11-19T14:54:00.000-06:00

I'm almost sort of back!!

Visit me it my new home:
soccergirl.podshow.com

Thanks for all your help everyone! I'm still very much in the process of getting set up over there. I only have about half of my shows uploaded, and I'm working on setting up another message board. In the meantime, the new feed is:

http://soccergirl.podshow.com/wp-rss2.php

Update that sucka!

kisses my lovelies,
sg

11.17.05 #73 DISASTER! HOSTLESS! WHERE'S THE PRIEST! SHIT!

2005-11-17T09:17:00.000-06:00

Chances are good that you're not reading this. If you are reading this then you've got a direct link to my website somewhere and that pleases me. So what happened is that Purecastmedia went belly up in all of about 5 seconds, so I'm marooned in the big scary dark internet. I can't post my feed because the domain still points to the dead fish, but I've set up a temporary Libsyn account so you can download explainatory show 73 from there:
http://libsyn.com/media/soccergirl/SGINC_073.mp3

(I redirected my domain to Libsyn, but it probably won't work for a good 24 more hours. If you could help me get the word out about this show, helo me distribute it and whatnot, it would be the greatest)

The show will explain it all, but I should mention that I don't have access to any of my files from the old server. This doesn't mean much re: the show, because I've got all the old episides, however, the messageboard is another story. I don't want to lose that stuff man! Oh, woe is me.

So give the show a listen and if you've got bright ideas I would be so grateful to you for lighting my path in these dark days.

11.15.05 #72 The expo made me cum and then it made me cum again and then I was out of clean underwear

2005-11-15T16:23:00.000-06:00

I got painted by Kevin Mason. I was freak show charlie.

Before, during and after stage one. The expo was like rockstar drugs. This episode is made up of a bunch of snippets starting with my goodbyes to Ryan, my arrival in Ontario, Then off to the Pickle booth where Paul from BFR and Sledge from I Love Knights have a sexy and explicit chat about me with Paul from PK and J (and I'm mad that they didn't tell me about it all weekend) Keith and the Girl post a harsh review of Brother Love (but they liked me, thank god!) Chill out during a little Katherine, BFR Paul, Sledge, PK and J lunch, and then dig Brother Love's 'Summertime' (not to be confused with the Jazz standard of the same name) Lastly a republican I met on Delta flight something graces us with an audio comment. I love several things, including pussy.

11.15.05 Show #72
The expo made me cum and then it made me cum again and then I was out of clean underwear
Download the show here! time: 27:44

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

The podcasts who's creators were in this episode:
Barefoot Radio
I Love Knights
PK and J
Keith and the Girl

Buy Brother Love's shit and then he can afford to visit me. Help a brutha out y'all.

Check for more pictures on my flikr crib, and send your own!

Links and photos (show coming later tonight I hope)

2005-11-14T11:49:00.000-06:00

Here's the first set of links and photos from my weekend at podcentral. If you've got pictures, post links to them here if you want my admiration and/or a little kiss sometime or perhaps you're into magnanimity. There's more than I can believe coming soon so if you're not here don't get mad yet.

My new best friends, their podcasts, other people who I wouldn't necessarily call my friends (because their cunts aren't to my liking and you've GOT to have a likeable cunt to be my friend), their podcasts and whatever else you motherfuckers want:

Brother Love

Sledge

PK and J

Dawn and Drew

Nate and Di
Keith and the Girl
Ben's Digital Tips and Tricks (sorry about the last name thing man)
Nick Starr
nlinus
Madge Weinstein (she's got the sweetest cunt of all!)

(check out my photos of all these cats and more at my flikr crib:
http://flickr.com/photos/sginc/sets/465859/

Madge's hot SEX SEX SEX lesbian pajama party video:

Post expo notes

2005-11-13T18:12:00.000-06:00

Whew, hot damn, I'm tired

I'm in the Atlanta airport waiting for my connecting flight back to good old NY and my quiet life as a mild-mannered lbrarian. I'm more sleep-deprived than I've been in a good long time, but I've got tons of audio to show for it, not to mention links and podcasts you HAVE to check out and sexy body painting pictures and I don't even know what else but I know there's so much it's leaking all over the Atlanta airport's carpet and I'm getting some intensely disgusted looks but I don't even give a goddamn cause that one woman has stupid pants on.

I'd planned on posting from the expo itself, but was only in my room long enough to collapse into a 5 hour dreamless sleep before dragging my poor self up to party some more. I hung out with all my heros: Dawn and Drew, Nick Starr, Nlinus, Kieth and the Girl, PK and J, Nate and Di, Paul from Barefoot Radio, Sledge from I Love Knights, Ben "I'm-a-fucking-fresh-mother-fucker" Williams from Digital Tips and Tricks, Madge Weinstein, Katherine, Paul Griffin, Scott Sigler, Mark Jeffrey, Leo Laporte, buddha, the Pickleman, Chester Copperpot, etc., etc. Adam Curry is much taller than me. I know it's hard to believe, but it's no lie homes.

Also, in true rockstar tabloid style... Brother Love got me all hot and I shouldn't kiss and tell but it's so tempting.
First tittilating installment of expo reportage coming atcha tomorrow.

Thank you so much for sending me everyone!

-sg

11.07.05 #71 The Expo is coming like a motherfuckin' demon y'all

2005-11-09T16:42:00.000-06:00

Quick showlet about the expo and a quick rantlet about sex education.
11.09.05 Show #71
Download the show here! time: 15:03

Time is really running out for the contest!

11.08.05 Calendar time! Promote kinky sex in your community

2005-11-08T23:45:00.000-06:00

click on the images to see more and vote now!
I love you

11.07.05 #70 Soccerdaddy!!

2005-11-07T14:33:00.000-06:00

I just got back from seeing my dad who was visiting from New Zealand... this is his FIRST EVER appearance on the show! Jake and Eliza are back too in a raucous game of 'Who dat?'. Then I've got a few songs for ya and a fascinating voyage to the terrifying world of religious anti-homosexuals. So guys, I've been trying to get together a fancy schmancy thank you show to all of you who sent me amazing birthday presents (including a new mattress and bed frame!), but I'm constantly scrambling to get the show out and to respond to your emails and also there's my day job and, well, the thank yous are WAY overdue. I hope you guys know that I'm so touched by all your gifts and I love every one of them and I really will get that thank you show out there some day soon. I'm so sorry it's taking me forever and I really hope you still love me!!

11.07.05 Show #70
Soccerdaddy!!
Download the show here! time: 32:12

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

CHEAP SOCCERGIRL, INC. T-SHIRTS!!!
Want an SG, inc. t-shirt but daunted by the retarded cafe press prices? Well, now you can own one of my very own shirts, lovingly emblazoned with the SG logo of your choice! The coolest part is that you get to be surprised by the shirt style (of course you can specify size and gender specifics) These really are my shirts! Get 'em while supplies last! They're 9 bucks each (shipping included).

Choose from the following logos (just include size, quantity and logo preferences with your payment):

(thanks logo designers! If you designed one you get a shirt for free! Just let me know what size)

Don't forget to include your size, how many t-shirts you want and the number of the logo you'd like!

Time is really running out for the contest!

11.01.05 #69 The Soccergirl Halloween 69 Special Part 2: God's Bee

2005-11-01T17:14:00.000-06:00

It's part 2 of the Soccergirl Halloween / show number 69 special!
Tune in for a dramatic production of 'Fang d'Amour: Soccergirl and Ryan P. Meet Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein' by our good friend Jeffrey Alexander Lewonczyk. Also, check out my Halloween Bee song. Don't forget about the Halloween contest, and be sure to also remember that it's a new month... go cast your vote at Podcastalley.com. Happy 69 Halloween!

11.01.05 Show #69 part 2
God's Bee
Download the show here! time: 22:21

10.31.05 #69!!!! The Halloween 69 Special Part 1!

2005-10-31T15:27:00.000-06:00

The Soccergirl Halloween 69 Movie Special: The Vineyard Vagabond

10.31.05 Show #69 part 1
The Vineyard Vagabond
Download the movie here! time: 09:46

10.30.05 #68 Girl in thong with butt

2005-10-31T10:55:00.000-06:00

This Halloween Eve show contains a special presentation entitled: Little kid Soccergirl's questions, qualms and observations from everyone's favorite Judy Garland classic, The Wizard of Oz. I even sing the 'If I only had a brain' song. I love Mr. Show and so should you. Ryan and I discuss my poem called 'Spam'. It's sort of a 'found' poem since it was composed using the real subject lines from my boss' spam email. It's social commentary and a racy dick-licker at once. Halloween tomorrow! Get ready for whack.

10.30.05 Show #68
Girl in thong with butt
Download the mp3 here! time: 30:09

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- Mr. Show is the most brilliant show I've ever seen. Really. I want to have hot, hard sex with David Cross and Bob Odenkirk... at the same time if possible. Can you guys arrange that? Read more about Mr. Show and Bob and David's other projects at:
bobanddavid.com

-- New listener pictures that I love!
from Danny:

from Wilson:

And a Halloween card from Frank!

10.28.05 #67 Santorum

2005-10-29T20:05:00.000-05:00

Dawn and Drew present! Ryan and I discuss our Ween experience; the rainy drive there, my slutty outfit, I showed Ween my boobs and got invited backstage (but didn't go cause I knew I'd regret it). Also lots of people touched my butt. Then we talk about my new advice column and Dan Savage's ''Savage Love'' when he talked about a grammy who masturbates her bird. I give a shout-out to another Soccergirl on the internet (there's room for the both of us), and do a little Scooby song for good measure. We were on Sirius! So it turns out BIG things are coming since the Halloween show and show number 69 will be one and the same... Serious tricks and even more serious treats-- terrifyingly sexy antics coming soon...

10.28.05 Show #67
Santorum
Download the mp3 here! time: 29:42

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- I love Ween!! You should love Ween too.

10.25.05 #66 Smurfette is the perfect woman

2005-10-25T15:42:00.001-05:00

You sicko listeners are about to get a taste of your own medicine... that's right, you guessed it, it's time for Smurf pornography. Also it's time for another much anticipated BATHCAST! I read to you from the infamous Marquis de Sade (don't worry, it's hot I promise), and then some lovely lesbian erotica featuring some chaste honeys also known as "women of the cloth". This is a nasty episode in the most delicious way possible. Hope you like it!

10.25.05 Show #66
Smurfette is the perfect woman
Download the mp3 here! time: 29:44

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

I've gotten lots of emails about the music I played in the "Soccergirl's Squadcast Challenge Part 2". It was stupid of me not to post a link earlier, but it's smart of me to post one now. Her name is Regina Spektor, and I want to have her baby.

The Squadcast Challenge Part 2

2005-10-23T18:12:00.000-05:00

I've completed the Squadcast Challenge and it's immortalized in the Soccergirl Squadcast Challenge Movie (Part 2)!!
There's a regular old sweet podcast coming your way tomorrow, and I'm terribly sorry to Smokehouse and Sledge who I was supposed to call this weekend... I had my hands totally full with the challenge, but I've been thinking about you both and I hope you're not too mad at me. I also hope I can chat with you soon. In the meantime, check out the new movie and watch out for the cops!

PART 2

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

Visit the Squadcast's website and check out what else they've been up to (no good I'm sure)

10.19.05 #65 I rub my ass on your cock, you rub your dick on my butt

2005-10-19T14:55:00.000-05:00

This podcast is a little guy since it comes to you with my very first syndicated movie all about the Soccergirl Squadcast Challenge!! The main computer and the replicator plan on making sweet love but not before another nerdrapper rhyme (it's been far too long). Bathcast coming up next episode. Don't forget about Podcast Alley, iTunes and the Halloween contest! I love you very much. I'm adding my other movies to the feed. I hope it works!

Check out my Squadcast Challenge video (click the image below)

10.19.05 Show #65
I rub my ass on your cock, you rub your dick on my butt
Download the mp3 here! time: 10:08

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

10.15.05 #64 Arnon Monogamy

2005-10-15T17:48:00.000-05:00

Ryan is in the house and he's one rambunctious and ornery customer. My leg is pumping like a fucking generator and Ryan tries to hypnotize my mitochondria. He tells a story about a giant squid caught on candid camera. Then we announce the SCARY SOCCERGIRL AND RYAN P. HALLOWEEN 2005 CONTEST!!! Dress as your favorite SG, inc. character (it doesn't have to be your favorite, it can just be the one you want to dress up as). Three creative winners will get a high res picture of my naked tits with whatever they want me to write on them in marker! (some restrictions apply-- listen to the show for details). Check out the message board to post your entries and to vote on everyone else's. The winners will be chosen dnd style-- one by me, one by Ryan and the third by you! Thanks everyone for voting at PCA and subscribing through itunes. We're at number 18 last time I checked!! Now itunes has to embrace the world of explicit podcasts or the people will revolt! Viva la podcast revolution!! HEIYA!

10.15.05 Show #64
Arnon Monogamy
Download the mp3 here! time: 42:30

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--
Click here to find out more about the contest

-- One of the first ever photographs of the infamous giant squid!

-- Check out Katherine's latest...

You can find products adorned with this fantastic image in my store (right)

Infiltrating the news... next the world!

2005-10-14T08:43:00.000-05:00

I'm in Reuters!

10.12.05 #63 Notice how I never say the B man's name? [Beetlejuice]

2005-10-13T14:40:00.000-05:00

Here it is... the ghostly trip to Martha's Vineyard... BEWARE!
63 starts out with a lovely apology from a representative male for the stupid asshole from last episode's crimes. I'm not even going to give him the satisfaction anymore. Eliza and I discuss the possibilities of magnetism when it comes to ghosts and then the ghost's strange antics are caught on mp3! I play the beginning of 'Oh Susannah' on my harmonica and new jaw harp and then read you some of another little story I've been working on. Disgusto STD audio commenter is back and this time he's psyched about his butt. Sweet.

p.s. Don't forget about voting at Podcast Alley! (if you vote then I don't have to say it in the show, and that's kickass for everyone!)

10.12.05 Show #63
Notice how I never say the B man's name? [Beetlejuice]
Download the mp3 here! time: 21:58

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- Thanks to Katherine-- my remote logo designer and buddy extrordinaire...

If you want to help promote the show, you can use these images for your links!

--Thanks to Robert and Dan, some sweet listeners with time on their hands...

-- Coming soon: A BIG list and lots of thank you's to all the amazing present senders. I got so much amazing stuff... it's like a materialist's wet dream! I love you.

10.10.05 #62 I'm just playin' witchu baby

2005-10-11T11:11:00.000-05:00

Ryan and I chat this way and then a little diagonal and some backstepping which leads to several atomic reactions I can't help but appreciate for their unusual brilliance and for the spiritual clarity they engender. Several horrible things come up like starvation in Malawi and Fistula. Ryan brought some maggots home in a magazine he pillaged from someone's trash (my boyfriend's a dumpster diver). Then (much to my eternal chagrin) Ryan teaches me the words "clutch" and "gang" to refer to our squirmy white friends. I'm horrified. What did he expect? I was away in the Vineyard this weekend but I'll respond to all your emails, I promise! Thanks for all your excellent "seduction" "king" rebuttals. More on that in the next episode. Also coming up, Eliza is back! She and I build Sandia and meet a ghost. I can't wait for that one. I missed you guys!

p.s. Jerry Miller paid me $250 USD!! He promises to send the rest, so maybe we shouldn't call and bug him until we see if he follows through. Thanks everyone!

10.10.05 Show #62
I'm just playin' witcha baby
Download the mp3 here! time: 21:58

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- Here is a Martha's Vineyard flower for your viewing pleasure:

-- This is Sandia... a kingdom that Eliza and I created out of nothing but sand, water, humility, elbow grease, and a healthy sense of purpose:

(don't forget, more MV antics (including our haunting) next show!)

-- Finally!............

-- Check me out on Rant Media! A very cool internet radio station and my new vacation home.

-- Coming soon: A BIG list and lots of thank you's to all the amazing present senders. I got so much amazing stuff... it's like a materialist's wet dream! I love you.

10.05.05 #61 Specifically structured in a hypnotic way

2005-10-06T10:43:00.000-05:00

Mark Nevada. The Seduction King. My arch nemesis.
Every superhero's got to have one right? This interview is really something. I started out with an open mind, really, but before long red flags were falling like rain and I was desperately trying to control the steam exploding out from my ears.

Below is the picture and the email the "seduction king" sent me prior to the interview. Needless to say, soccerball cock is a sure fire way to get in my pants. Grrr.

I'm sorry you've been assaulted by the "seduction" "king"'s penis for so long, but that's what he does with it! If you're a glutton for punishment, you can still check it out at: this unfortunate address
This is what he wrote in the email that accompanied this incredibly seductive image:
"I hope this doesn't affect our interview"
-- Mark
(Seduction King)

p.s. Jerry Miller paid me $250 USD!! He promises to send the rest, so maybe we shouldn't call and bug him until we see if he follows through. Thanks everyone!

10.05.05 Show #61
Specifically structured in a hypnotic way
Download the mp3 here! time: 36:51

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- Check me out on Rant Media! A very cool internet radio station and my new vacation home.

-- Thanks to everyone who helped me get my money back!! Only half so far, but I'll be damned if that's not better than none!

-- Coming soon: A BIG list and lots of thank you's to all the amazing present senders. I got so much amazing stuff... it's like a materialist's wet dream! I love you.

10.01.05 #60 Sam would be more comfortable if he stuck his cylinder somewhere

2005-10-02T14:36:00.000-05:00

He's had a long and storied career in the jiz biz, but to most Sam Sugar is a mystery. There are no pictures of him anywhere on the internet (I know because I've looked), but his incredibly sexy voice has gotten him quite a few listeners. Oh, and there's that dry British wit and excellent content. As of right now, I'm one of the only podcasters that has learned his secrets and I'll share some of them with you now.

Sam Sugar Stats: tall; english; good skin; deep, come-hither drowning pools for eyes; long, dextrous fingers; big feet...
Need I say more?

The interview was a fucking blast. Sam was hilarious. I was trying my best to get in his pants. Overall, it's rather entertaining on many levels. In Sam's words: "hope it's as fun to listen to as it was to record".

10.01.05 Show #60
Sam would be more comfortable if he stuck his cylinder somewhere
Download the mp3 here! time: 38:36

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--For the rest of this interview, go check out Sam's version at podnography.com

Noun 1. onanist - a person who practices masturbation (masturbator)
frotteur - someone who masturbates by rubbing against another person (as in a crowd)
jerk-off, tosser, wanker - terms of abuse for a masturbator

May's calendar shots are finally here!

2005-09-30T15:38:00.000-05:00

(click on the image to vote now-- and don't forget to vote at Podcast Alley tomorrow! Here's an easy link: SG, inc. #1!!!!

Three, the movie not the number

2005-09-29T12:17:00.000-05:00

If you'd like to download a larger and more legible version of this video, please do so here. Otherwise, just click on the image below...
Note: the piece of yellow paper at the end says : 1+1=3

Hope you like it!!
Love, sg

09.29.09 #59 I'll twist your hair until you desire me

2005-09-29T10:44:00.000-05:00

This post-birthday show is full of exciting features and teasing teasers, including: sweet tunes; more threats re Podnography and some more clips to remind you of how much you can't wait to listen; I got cheated out of $500 on ebay (the guy who cheated me is named Jerry Miller, he lives in Oxon Hill, Maryland, his ebay handle is muscle20748, his email is muscle20748@aol.com, and his phone number is 703-960-2152-- I figure, hey, I don't have any way to get my money back, he's the criminal here, so why not make his information public knowledge--- to protect you guys of course! Not because I want you to call him and write him emails and help me harass him so I can get my money back... no way, nothing like that); my birthday appearance on Barefoot Radio (I've been drinking all day but they sing to me, Kate Moss is a skeleton and only plus-size models are friendly, how I feel about Howard Stern, shooting heroin on television, etc.); I really don't believe that there's never been a pro-war movie just like I really don't believe in protecting people from information that might help them make an informed decision, I mean how can you if you don't have all the facts?; lastly, I REALLY need an intern-- THAT INTERN COULD BE YOU!! I'm currently accepting applications. As soon as I have the time I'm going to put together a special thank you to everyone who sent me presents, wrote me emails or otherwise conributed to the celebration of my birthday. I keep getting stuff in the mail and I can't believe my luck! Once again, thank you all! Very lovely audio comments finish up this, the last sg, inc. before we hit 60! P.S. There's a new vidcast coming soon! Maybe even later today...

09.29.05 Show #59
I'll twist your hair until you desire me
Download the mp3 here! time: 36:32

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- Now you'd better believe that my "date" with Sam from Podnography really is coming. In fact, it'll be on the next show! Visit his sexy website at podnography.com, and stay tuned for the scintillating, no-holds-barred show we made together, like beautiful love.

-- After you listen to this, you can hear the rest of my Barefoot Radio birthday show at Barefoot Radio While you're there, you might as well give Barefoot Radio a listen for its own sake!

-- Here's that picture of those doomed exhibitioners that we talked about on the last show. I think they look pretty goddamn defeated. Check out the whole terrifying article here.

09.27.05 #58 Ryan! Get my presents!

2005-09-27T16:36:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my birthday! Before opening presents we talk about people who like to get peed on. Ryan gets me a great present and then we adopt the O'Henry story into a story of our own. I call Ryan a prick hole because he can't stop touching me with his freezing fingers. He pretends to shoot me, but I turn his glock into a love gun that shoots sweet cherry-raspberry dreams. Ryan thinks he's so smart because he knows all the words to La Bamba. Then he calls me a dirty, wet dick hole. ON MY BIRTHDAY!! Wouldn't it be awesome if you could just breathe whatever? I love you, Ryan Pee Peebraham. Thank you all for the wonderful presents and audio comments and songs! BEST BIRTHDAY EVER! Oceanside, represent.

09.27.05 Show #58
Ryan! Get my presents!
Download the mp3 here! time: 30:26

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- Check out Barefoot Radio, where I went for my birthday.

-- You should also check out Scott Sigler's Ancestor

--I swear, my "date" with Sam from Podnography really is coming soon. Visit his sexy website at podnography.com, and stay tuned for the scintillating, no-holds-barred show we made together, like beautiful love.

2005-09-26T13:46:00.000-05:00

09.24.05 #57 The pre-birthday show

2005-09-25T12:51:00.000-05:00

It’s almost my birthday!! Hurray!! This show’s got all sorts of stuff like songs and morose stories from my childhood. I’m too excited to wait until my actual birthday to gush about my amazing presents. Speaking of morose childhood stories, I lost my favorite koala (he’s since been found, thank goodness), but it was awful to think he was lost forever, and terribly embarrassing to talk about my attachment to a stuffed animal. Still, I did it anyway and I hope it’s not too weird. An audio commenter has something STD related to worry about, but lots of love to give. Stay tuned for an actual birthday show and for my birthday appearance on Barefoot Radio! Yeehaw. P.S. I'm trying to make the files smaller. Let me know if this is better than usual, ok?

09.24.05 Show #57
The pre-birthday show
Download the mp3 here! time: 31:13 (the time of this show is a pallindrome!)

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Check out my new dress that I got from Darth Monkee for my birthday!

--I swear, my "date" with Sam from Podnography really is coming soon. Visit his sexy website at podnography.com, and stay tuned for the scintillating, no-holds-barred show we made together, like beautiful love.

Ryan's birthday present

2005-09-23T13:17:00.000-05:00

I made this flash movie for Ryan's birthday which was yesterday. Happy birthday Ryan! I don't know if it will be interesting to you all, but I worked really hard on it, so I thought I'd post it because why the hell not.

In other news, an anonymous listener has created the first ever Soccergirl, incorporated fan site! Find it at sgboobs.com. This is what he wrote there:
"Are you tired of spending 30 minutes going through all of Soccergirl’s sites to find the pics of her boobs? We are too! That’s why this site has been created."
Boobs, direct to you.
Sweet.

Somebody wanted a wish list??

2005-09-21T16:58:00.000-05:00

So, don't get me wrong, ok? When I made this wish list I was playing the old little-soccergirl-at-christmas game where I figure money is no object for Santa (who you know, if you listen to my show, I believed in for an ungodly and truly embarassingly long time). So this is a list of all the things I COULD POSSIBLY WANT that I could find in under two hours on Amazon. So, what I REALLY want for my birthday is your love, but, if you really insist on buying me a present, I'm sure you can find something to fit any budget on this list.

Note: If you're all "I have so much fucking money I might as well just throw it in the fucking trash", then please, breathe deeply, touch yourself intimately, and remember that it's my birthday! I really need a bed because mine has pokey springs that hurt me, and $500 clams is nothing to you if you're all "I'm so rich" so why not give me the gift of slumber? It's Ryan's birthday too as a matter of fact... and what makes me happy makes him happy so getting me a present is kind of like getting him one... ok I'll stop now.

I really do love you!
p.s. I'm gonna try to smile more because Katherine asked me if I would so there

09.21.05 #56 Kurt Vonnegut and I both love Wheaties

2005-09-21T10:50:00.000-05:00

This is a very special episode because I've discovered the joys of digital video!! This is both a podcast and a vidcast and you can view the movie below or download it to your computer by control-clicking (right-clicking for PC) here. Note to Doc: It was your audio comment that I used in the beginning of the video... I want you to know that I wasn't referring to you when I made that butt-hole joke, but was referencing an illustration in B of C. I think you're great! I get a little p.o.-ed at some of the requests I've been getting lately. Wonderful audio comment from the anniversary man, and from my birthday buddy (25th of September, represent!!). Ryan's birthday is tomorrow!! (did anyone get him that butt plug?)

The text at the beginning of the movie is as follows (it;s hard to read in this little compressed version):
"In addition to being a book by Kurt Vonnegut (a book that I relish the experience of, incidentally) Breakfast of Champions is also the name of this movie. by Soccergirl Copyright: the future" The other title is: This is what it's like to be Soccergirl...

09.21.05 Show #56
Kurt Vonnegut and I both love Wheaties
Download the mp3 here! time: 09:30

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- I'm gonna read a scene in Scott Sigler's Ancestor! The first two episodes have been released, and I just finished recording for an episode coming soon. Don't miss it! (I'll tell you when it's out, so you'll be sure not to-- it's sexy-- of course.)

-- Don't forget, coming soon, my "date" with Sam from Podnography. Visit his sexy website at podnography.com, and stay tuned for the scintillating, no-holds-barred show we made together, like beautiful love.

2005-09-19T13:39:00.000-05:00

09.18.05 #55 Pink clouds like breasts, and breasts like breasts and we're all naked under God

2005-09-18T12:17:00.000-05:00

If this story about a lifelike fountain sex toy in a lovely English garden doesn't interest you, then maybe you'll be into a little whipped cream, Sam Adams Double Bock (run, don't walk), and Trivial Pursuit with Ryan and my little brother, Jake (otherwise known as Rim-Job J). I remember Brain Wilson and Ryan gets a Crocodile Hunter question that's totally unfair. Then you get to hear a little teaser from my upcoming interview with Sam Sugar from Podnography. It's my first podcast "date" and a hard-hitting introduction to the secrets of the jizz biz. It was really fun to try and make him squirm, though he caught on quick and gave me a taste right back. Huge birthday thanks to Skipnicker and Katherine for my early birthday presents!! A fancy song shout-out to Jason and Jessica for their first anniversary doubles as the debut of my collaboration with the mysterious musical genius John (he did all the instrumentals; the silly vocals are solely my responsibility). Finally, my new girlfriend Vicky stops by and a lovely audio commenter wins my heart.

09.03.05 Show #55
Pink clouds like breasts and breasts like breasts and we're all naked under God
Download the mp3 here! time: 33:40

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- Check out the hot outfit I wore for my podcasting "date" with Sam Sugar:

--Visit Sam's sexy website at podnograpphy.com, and stay tuned for the scintillating, no-holds-barred show we made together, like beautiful love.

Is that a pendant in your pocket? That's what she said

2005-09-15T15:22:00.000-05:00

The long awaited interview with Mark Jeffrey is finally here! Sorry about the jumpiness of the whole thing. I had some technical problems that just about did me in. But it was all worth it for this SOCCERGIRL EXCLUSIVE!! That's right, another one, and this time M.J. announces the name of his NEW BOOK!! You can only hear it here, so listen up baby. Also, check out these GREAT audio comments, and a sweet little loop from a sweet little fan that you can play to your sweet little mommy. Rock!

09.15.05 Show #54
Is that a pendant in your pocket? That's what she said
Download the mp3 here! time: 24:54

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Donate to the Red Cross for Katrina relief!!

--Check out Mark's website at: pocketandpendant.com

--Check out the banner that Katherine made for me for my birthday!! (here)
Thanks, Katherine! Love you!

Save the flood victims... warrior style!

2005-09-14T14:27:00.000-05:00

clich here to vote

09.11.05 #53 Wine and dine me with a few emails... then we can have butt sex

2005-09-12T11:47:00.000-05:00

The new theme song makes it's second debut (it'll be shortened soon), and then I talk about my lesbian gawking at the gas station and the subsequent barrage of young male attention that followed. I respond to a listener's email (a listener who was less-than-pleased about my portrayal of the personals website crowd). Thanks everyone for your amazing letters re: evolution vs. intelligent design. It turns out my listenership is really a brilliant crowd! I'm really impressed. I announce my IN PERSON interview with Sam Sugar from Podnography, and announce some bad news about the expo (don't worry, I'm still going!) A song about my kick-boxing lessons is followed by two audio comments and a song by Optymistic about his long lost Podcast Pockle hat (but the joke's on him because I finally got off my ass nd sent it, so there!) Donate to the Red Cross for Katrina relief!! I'm poor, you might be poor, but at least we have shelter and food and we're not as bad off as we could be. I'm sending what I can, and so should you! Thanks very much everyone. I love you. (I swear more pictures really are coming soon). p.s. I was wondering if any of you who like to make music might want to send me some non-vocal arrangements that I could add vocal parts to. I want to start a podcasting band, remote-style. Anyone in?

09.11.05 Show #53
Wine and dine me with a few emails... then we can have butt sex
Download the mp3 here! time: 30:37

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Donate to the Red Cross for Katrina relief!!

-- You are totally welcome (nay, encouraged) to play Paul's promo on your show...
Paul from BRF's Soccergirlaholic (he's addicted to soccergirlahol)

--Big interview with Mark Jeffrey coming up!! We have to tape it all over again (secretly the first one was fine and I just want an excuse to call him. Don't tell!)
As long as I get you and I make you mine
Check out Mark's website at: pocketandpendant.com

09.07.05 #52 Your momma knows I'm a freaky girl... and you like it!

2005-09-08T09:03:00.000-05:00

I made a song about how certain boy podcasters are SO sexy. BATHCAST!! First a call out about Katrina... do you guys know who the best care-giving operations are, and if I can link to them? My interview with Mark Jeffrey might have to be postponed a little. I'm gonna show you my secret project, and then I'm gonna read some creepy/scary/hotsortofsometimes emails that I got from complete strangers on a personals website. Thanks so much for all your evolution vs. intelligent design responses (special shout-out to the anonymous monk-- he listens to SG, inc. AND he's celibate!!) Also thank you for the votes at PCA! So far SO good for September.

09.07.05 Show #52
Your momma knows I'm a freaky girl... and you like it!
Download the mp3 here! time: 24:52

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--You asked for it... Check out this COCKLLAGE!!! (with some boobies to boot)

--My theme song

-- You are totally welcome (nay, encouraged) to play Paul's promo on your show...
Paul from BRF's Soccergirlaholic (he's addicted to soccergirlahol)

--Big interview with Mark Jeffrey coming up!! He's going to announce the title of his new book! Another Soccergirl Exclusive!! (hopefully soon, but technical problems might make you have to wait for a week or so... I'm very sorry! Don't let the suspense make you too uncomfortable, though I know that'll be tough)
Here's the song I made for his book, The Pocket and the Pendant
As long as I get you and I make you mine
Check out Mark's website at: pocketandpendant.com

2005-09-05T16:14:00.000-05:00

09.03.05 #51 If you are God Gregor Mendel and you have God pea plants, find me, please!

2005-09-04T12:21:00.000-05:00

Jean-Luc introduces a ballad for Bill O'reilly. A frank discussion about evolution vs. intelligent design (for which I'll surely get hate mail) (viva Dan Dennett) is followed by a sexy promo by Paul from Barefoot Radio. He is SUCH a tease. Coming up soon, an interview with Mark Jeffrey, author of The Pocket and the Pendant, in which he divulges the title of his new book (another SG, inc. exclusive!!) The interviewer gets interviewed when Podnography's Sam Sugar comes to hang out with yours truly (also coming soon). He reviewed SG, inc. on his show, and he described my tits... very well. I hit Paul from BFR back with a slow jazz number of my own (I can play the teasing game too mutha fuckah).

09.03.05 Show #51

Download the mp3 here! time: 25:46

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- You are totally welcome (nay, encouraged) to play Paul's promo on your show... also, if you want, you can play slow jazz too. Here are links to both:
Paul from BRF's Soccergirlaholic (he's addicted to soccergirlahol)
Slow Jazz (for Paul from BFR)

--I'm trying to make my songs available as individual downloads for your listening pleasure (note: I've gotten lots of requests for this and it seems very strange to me that anyone would really want to listen to these songs. However, I'm very happy you do so here are a few of them) More soon!

Soccergirl's theme song
Ode to Bill O'reilly
Soccergirl's a wicked good rapper
Faces that look mysteriously like fish

--Big interview with Mark Jeffrey coming up!! He's going to announce the title of his new book! Another Soccergirl Exclusive!!

Here's the song I made for his book, The Pocket and the Pendant
As long as I get you and I make you mine
Check out Mark's website at: pocketandpendant.com

my writing, such as it is

2005-09-02T10:20:00.000-05:00

Someone asked for this, I swear. It's unedited and uncut
(I'm a wuss about pain).
Be gentle!

08.31.05 #50!! I hit 'em in the shoulder with my shoulder

2005-08-31T12:06:00.000-05:00

I've composed a piano sonata and a hambone rockopera. When I was just a little Soccergirl, my daddy taught me how to hambone, and I've been doing it ever since. Ryan makes a stunning appearance and I express my deep love of fish because they might as well be aliens. I'm full of shit about the dinosaurs, but once I commit myself to a theory, I've got to see it through. Keep in mind that I realized I was full of shit about point five seconds after the rampage got underway. Stopping there would have ruined the fun. I hope you appreciate the fool of myself, as well as the regular myself. Show 50 features a special soccer-themed song. It might be my favorite song yet. Doc gives me stalking permission, and then some dude cums on my comment line for thousands of people. Good for him. This French dude makes me horny.

08.31.05 Show #50

Download the mp3 here! time: 16:36

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

08.29.05 #49

2005-08-29T12:10:00.000-05:00

Check me out at:

08.29.05 Show #49
Earthcore: The lost episode
Download the mp3 here! time: 15:33

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

Visit Scott's website www.scottsigler.net
Find information about Ancestor at: scottsigler.net/ancestor
Find information about EarthCore at: scottsigler.net/earthcore

Thanks so much Scott!! I really can't wait for Ancestor...

08.27.05 #48 Interview with Scott Sigler, author of EarthCore and the upcoming podcast novel, Ancestor

2005-08-27T14:52:00.000-05:00

Check me out at:

Scott and I experience the beauty of sweet audio interchange as we chat all about several things, including: EarthCore; his listeners; the difficulties involved in writing a novel; podiobook voices, specifically podiobook woman's voices when you're man from Jersey; phone sex (it's excellent practice); my listener's questions (including one from the infamous Drew Domkus); EarthCore and/or Ancestor action figures; and SOCCERGIRL INC.'S EXCLUSIVE KAYLA MEYERS SEX SCENE FROM THE CUTTING ROOM FLOOR!!! Scott says that, even if he gets so famous we're all left in the dust, he'll ALWAYS make time to come on Soccergirl (Freudian slip? I wish!)

08.27.05 Show #48
Interview with Scott Sigler, author of EarthCore and the upcoming podcast novel, Ancestor
Download the mp3 here! time: 25:50

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--The next episode og SG, inc. will be a SOCCERGIRL EXCLUSIVE!!!
You've read EarthCore, but you haven't heard this! A never before released rape scene featuring the evil Kayla Meyers, will be read here, for the first time, on an upcoming episode! Don't miss this, it's your only chance to hear it! It's terrifying and super sexy at once...

Visit Scott's website www.scottsigler.net
Find information about Ancestor at: scottsigler.net/ancestor
Find information about EarthCore at: scottsigler.net/earthcore

08.25.05 #47 Demographic think tanks

2005-08-26T11:26:00.000-05:00

Check me out at:

"Darkness, wind, tempest at sea, deluge of water, woods on fire, rain, thunderbolts from the sky, earthquakes and destruction of mountains, levelling of cities."
--Leonardo DaVinci

Recently there was a piece on adult podcasting on FOX news. This'll keep you up at night. RYAN'S BACK! and he's got a story about his new job, cigarette orders, and cigarettes in China. Speaking of which, did you know cigarettes are actually a great source of vitamin B? Really. The Chinese government says so. All communication highways are closed. We will go through a deevolution. Or so William Morris hopes. Purecastmedia just got a little more convincing. Thanks for all the great comments listeners!! Doc, that's me following you. Sorry. I should have said something sooner.

08.25.05 Show #47
Demographic think tanks
Download the mp3 here! time: 46:59

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--I've interviewed Scott Sigler from EarthCore! I asked him all about his new book, Ancestor. The interview is coming soon...as is a...
SOCCERGIRL INC. EXCLUSIVE!!!
You've read EarthCore, but you haven't seen this! A never before released rape scene featuring the evil Kayla Meyers, will be read here, for the first time, on an upcoming episode! Don't miss this, it's your only chance to hear it!!

--I took this class called Catastrophe Apocalypse. Check it out here.

--My friend took this picture in Tennessee

08.21.05 #46 I'm eating my fingernails just for you, listeners!

2005-08-22T11:22:00.000-05:00

I've got the my-pretty-bathtub's-busted-now-I'm-casting-from-the-bathroom-floor blues!

My bathtub is in critical condition! See the photoshoot, and check out the pictures for March when we will SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT. Sunflower plus world map = environment savers to the rescue. This week I'm interviewing the famous Scott Sigler from the podcast novel, EarthCore!! Be sure to email me your questions if you've got 'em, and be sure to tune in for news of his new book, Ancestor (if it's anything like EarthCore, it'll thrill the pants off you and then you'll be all naked and sexy). I apologize in advance for my September 11th joke which was made in poor taste but which seemed appropriate at the time. Ryan still says he's too tired, but that will have to change soon because I've got a radio play up my sleeve that came from my friend Jeff Lewonczyk's sleeve that Ryan has to participate in or there won't be a wolf-man to speak of (see pipermckenzie.com). Some mean people are probably just crying out for help. My car is $400 worth of fucked. What's the deal with Odeo? Some more SPB action thanks to an audio commentor, and a song about mean mechanics who are probably NOT family-friendly.

08.21.05 Show #46
I'm eating my fingernails just for you, listeners!
Download the mp3 here! time: 19:42

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--I'm interviewing Scott Sigler from EarthCore! I'm going to ask him all about his new book, Ancestor. If you have any questions you want me to ask him, send me an email: soccergirlincorporated@gmail.com

--Our good friends Jeff Lewonczyk and Hope Cartelli have this great website... Jeff wrote a radio play entitled: FANG d’AMOUR or Soccergirl and Ryan P. Meet Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein. Coming soon!

--Red Bar Radio (featured promo)

--Don't forget about the March photoshoot!
SUNFLOWER + WORLD MAP + BOOBIES = a better world for you and me

Check out the pictures, big and beautiful
or vote for your favorite

08.17.05 #45 I've got an ass like Beyonce plus five dollars

2005-08-18T11:11:00.000-05:00

My ass will probably make you jump through hoops like it did with those troops and those Government spooks.

Momma, there was a girl at school who said she had Jesus inside her. Seriously though guys, Jesus was a comic genius so shouldn't more members of the radical Christian right have senses of humor? Apparently when it comes to sg, inc. you either love it or you hate it. At least according to replay-media.com where I'm number one most favorite AND number one most hated. It's like the sharks and the jets *snap* *snap*, except my name isn't Maria and I don't really speak the Spanish. SG the nerd rapper takes the stand once again until Dr. Who drops in for a visit and you have to spend the day with my ass. An audio comment all the way from Australia (I'm sorry you had to spend a lot of money just to say hi, but it sure is a good way to buy my love!) Check me out-- I'm addenduming again. In my pants! I mean, er... (the shows have been short lately, but there's a HUGE dose of Ryan P. coming up soon!)

08.17.05 Show #45
I've got an ass like Beyonce plus five dollars
Download the mp3 here! time: 14:18

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

But Doctor, I'm in love with you!

(I thought you liked it when I stuck my finger in your ass)

--Hey, check out this bizarre firstplace/lastplace scenario. It's a head scratcher.
--Visit this sweet audio commentor's website!
www.iloveknights.com

--Don't forget about the February photoshoot:
LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE!!! (click here to vote on your favorite!)

2005-08-16T13:12:00.000-05:00

08.15.05 #44 I got your Dracula cock right here!

2005-08-16T09:47:00.000-05:00

Free style bathcasting=eroticism right from my dirty, sex-depraved brain. Sarah was a librarian. Modest and shy, she'd never even been with a boy before... I don't want to be a fairy! I want to be a real girl. An irate audio comment spurs an irate response followed by a family sing along. Don't forget about voting for February! Lastly, purecastmedia.com is getting pretty damn comely with this podshares stuff.

08.15.05 Show #44
I got your Dracula cock right here!
Download the mp3 here! time: 16:40

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--This one's for the troops who really wish they hadn't ever gotten themselves into what they're into. I know you're not all bad people! (if you're a bad person who also happens to be a troop, kindly fuck off)

Don't forget about the February photoshoot:
LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE!!!

(mad props to Jessica, my hot lesbian lover-- in my dreams)

08.11.05 #43 Hot lesbo action? Aces!

2005-08-11T14:58:00.000-05:00

I had a few technical difficulties, so if you already downloaded episode 43 you should download it again because before it sucked but now it doesn't. Please don't judge me!! My OTHER sister Eliza and (the one who's over 21 and can therefore drink alcohol legally) do a brief but musical wine tasting. Melissa from sacredwhore.org calls me out on my title and we check out her whore revolution; a movement in which I'd be proud to participate. Eliza and I wax biological about the socially stigmatized world of SEX and then we break through your eardrums with a killer absurdist/beat/sweet poem about fish hooks and fish-mouthed children. Eliza learns a little something about what it means to be normal for your average Soccergirl. We end with a mini f-style yo, but not before I think long and hard about how long and hard my cock is for all you iTunes subscribers and Podcastalley.com voters. Microsoft Sam and I are totally on the same page with this one. I love those robot titties. February calendar pictures are UP!! Don't forget to vote on your favorite. Thanks for the great song that finishes up this short and sweet episode, Anonymous #2!!

08.11.05 Show #43
Hot lesbo action? Aces!
Download the mp3 here! time: 11:12

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

The February photoshoot:
LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE!!!

(mad props to Jessica, my hot lesbian lover-- in my dreams)

--Check out the lovely Melissa at sacredwhore.org!
--Click here if you want to be a podcaster and need help getting started!

08.08.05 #42 Fragments like Shrapnel and/or I'm drunk on codes within codes

2005-08-08T16:22:00.000-05:00

Soccersister says you should buy the new Magneto Beer Band. I don't care one way or the other, but it sure would save us all a lot of embarassment. A very exciting photoshoot with my lovely friend Jessica resulted in a series of scintillating images from which you, listener, have the privelage of choosing February's finest. (props to Eliza for her nasty photography skills) Ryan and I were on Sirius! Industrial Radio gets my gratitude for the sweet plug, and for playing the Pocket and the Pendant song. Check out pocketandpendant.com, not only because you're missing out on a world of imaginatory euphoria if you don't, but also because Mark J. wrote a nice little thingy about me and Eliza. Someone tell me, is there such a thing as a morehinge? We were a little drunk, a little stoned, and had a lot of time on our hands, so we fashioned an entire choir out of the two of us because what else is there to do when you've got time on your hands? I got a wonderful audio comment from Sweden, and a hard on for French Toast. This episode is a little wacked out, a little intense, and a lot talented in the bedroom. natch.

08.08.05 Show #42
Fragments like Shrapnel and/or I'm drunk on codes within codes
Download the mp3 here! time: 16:28

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

The February photoshoot:
(mad props to Jessica, my hot lesbian lover-- in my dreams)
LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE!!!

More pictures coming... check the Calendar area soon!!
--Click here if you want to be a podcaster and need help getting started!

08.04.05 #41 Even if you touch their eyeballs they do not move

2005-08-04T15:02:00.000-05:00

Patrick and Hollywood Adam from NLO introduce show 41. Darth Monkee sent a sweet audio note to my little sister. Notes to my sister are welcome but if you get out of line, I'll sick myself on you in a bad way. Ryan sucks a bug off my finger. A real bug. This makes absolutely no sense. I'm enamored by Sebastian the cat. I got an amazing email from a troop overseas. Thanks troop. I hate the war but I love you! Eliza and I are really into The Pocket and the Pendant, a podiobook you can find at pocketandpendant.com or at dragonpage.com. We love it so much, we made a song about it. SG, inc. is number 9 at PCA! Thanks everyone, lets keep it there!

08.04.05 Show #41
Even if you touch their eyeballs they do not move
Download the mp3 here! time: 18:02

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--This is what the bug that Ryan sucked off my finger looked like:

--The Pocket and the Pendant (this book is sci fi/fantasy genius)

--Podcastalley.com
--Click here if you want to be a podcaster and need help getting started!

2005-08-03T15:11:00.000-05:00

08.02.05 #40 Fatworm

2005-08-02T16:19:00.000-05:00

Contest winner announced!!

Congratulations to the winner of the contest! You win the podcasting kit from Bulldoglive.com!! (you have to listen to find out who won) I'm sorry to all you guys who didn't win. Never fear though, many more contests to come. Ryan, Eliza and I discuss this contest in particular, contests in general, and the mass of Jupiter (and you thought I was going to say Uranus). The original Anonymous (Soccergirl/spiderman Anonymous) has sent another audio masterpiece, this time to the tune of the Beatles's own "Paperback Writer". SG inc., at last check, was number 10 at Podcastalley!! Thanks so much everyone. For everything. Really. Check out the brilliant new moneymaking/podcasting oppertunities at purecastmedia.com. (follow the "Be a podcaster" link in the top right corner of this page).

08.02.05 Show #40
Fatworm
Download the mp3 here! time: 21:37

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Hurray once more for Bulldoglive.com
--my bad self...

--Podcastalley.com
--Click here if you want to be a podcaster and need help getting started!

08.01.05 #39 It's time to shep the chempo

2005-08-01T12:20:00.000-05:00

Contest winner announced on show #40!!

My sister Eliza and I ham it up for the mic like we're a coupla m.c. fiyacrackahs. This show features Eliza's Yamaha Portasound PSS-110, superior to the 80 in its multi-note capabilities, but not in the demo department. This is the last show before the big contest winner announcement! Also, funnily enough, it's August first. This means you'd best go throw a vote or two our way at Podcastalley.com! Our goal for this fine August 2005 is to reach the top 10, homes. Make it so baby (you know I roll it). Eliza equals Soccersister. This show equals Soccertastic. And you, Soccerfan X, equal the perfect bedfellow. You know, Eliza and I used to hump our friends all the time. (sshhh, I still do). WE'RE GOING TO THE EXPO!!! By "we" I mean me AND Ryan. Thank you thank you thank you, listeners! And of course big thanks to bulldoglive.com for making this beautiful contest possible.

08.01.05 Show #39
It's time to shep the chempo
Download the mp3 here! time: 23:34

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Being addicted to sex would be terrible, but preaching abstinence from sex like AA preaches abstinence from drinking just makes sexuality the enemy, a drug to be feared instead of a human trait to be understood. Sexaholoics anonymous can suck my pussy until I cum and then leave me the fuck alone.

(this image makes me hot)
I'm addicted to sexahol.
--Bulldoglive.com
--Podcastalley.com
--Click here if you want to be a podcaster and need help getting started!

07.29.05 #38 Bathcasting has never been better

2005-07-30T11:52:00.000-05:00

Don't forget about the amazing prizes you can win in the contest-- ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT!! I'd love it if you'd play this SG, inc contest promo on your show...

It's bathcast time once again, as I read from Joanna Quinn's masterpiece, A Tale of Two Sisters. Charlotte and Ned were meant to be together. But Ned was planning to Marry Charlotte's sister and Charlotte was too afraid to speak now, resigned to forever holding her peace. Little did Charlotte know, she wasn't the only one with unrequieted lustful fantasies... A reminder that there are only two days left to enter the contest, and there is only one day left before the podcastawards.com voting is CLOSED!! If this bathcast gets you excited, then you've got to consider this: the mature category is sg inc.'s middle name. Sexaholics should never have to face abstinence. We're so close to Ryan's goal (ignore the chart for now, still in MA, still can't update). I want you inside me.

07.29.05 Show #38
Soccermama
Download the mp3 here! time: 14:44

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--
Send me to the media expo, and while you're at it win these fabulous prizes!! Thanks to everyone who has helped out so far! We're soo close to getting Ryan to the expo, and ever closer to picking a terribly lucky winner... you could get...
A Behringer Eurotrack UB802 mixer, an MXL990 Condenser Mic with Shockmount, a Pop filter, HA-G33 Closed Cup Headphones, and a Lo-Z Microphone Cable (to be entered in the raffle, donate $10 or more to the Expo fund or send at least 30 seconds of original SG related audio stuff to soccergirlincorporated@gmail.com. The drawing will be on August first. Good luck!)

I'll touch you and smoke your drugs if you vote at podcast alley!

07.25.05 #37 Soccermama

2005-07-26T15:59:00.000-05:00

Don't forget about the amazing prizes you can win in the contest-- ONLY ONE WEEK LEFT!! I'd love it if you'd play this SG, inc contest promo on your show...

Show 37 features my mom! She weighs in on everything from Julia Child to her Soccergirl daughter's boobies. My brother and I discover that our sister has been hiding a Yamaha Portasound PSS-130. It's SO not as good as my 80, but we rock it hard anyway. I'm still in MA, so I can't update the expo fund scale, but it's getting DAMN close! Only one week left until the drawing, so it's your last chance to get in your cash and/or entry. Less than a week until the podawards rock the house, so head over and vote for sg inc, if you dare.

07.21.05 Show #37
Soccermama
Download the mp3 here! time: 14:44

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Check out SG on Barefoot Radio for appearance number 2!

--
Send me to the media expo, and while you're at it win these fabulous prizes!! Thanks to everyone who has helped out so far! We're soo close to getting Ryan to the expo, and ever closer to picking a terribly lucky winner... you could get...
A Behringer Eurotrack UB802 mixer, an MXL990 Condenser Mic with Shockmount, a Pop filter, HA-G33 Closed Cup Headphones, and a Lo-Z Microphone Cable (to be entered in the raffle, donate $10 or more to the Expo fund or send at least 30 seconds of original SG related audio stuff to soccergirlincorporated@gmail.com. The drawing will be on August first. Good luck!)

I'll touch YOU if you vote at podcast alley!

07.22.05 #36 Nerdcast Podcore

2005-07-22T16:06:00.000-05:00

Don't forget about the amazing prizes you can win in the contest! I'd love it if you'd play this SG, inc contest promo on your show...

This is a show under the influence. I go crazy with the freestyle, again, and then our good buddy Ean comes to visit and we talk about bat safe cabins, his penis, three-year-old penis (Ryan claims he can remember his, and that he measured it with cauliflower that he then promptly ate... we call that homolistic). Number 15 at PCA! Podcastawards still voting strong! Ean declares himself D.J. Takeon (or however you spell that). Some great audio comments are followed by my little celebration because SG, inc. was in the New York Times! Thanks to Drew for bringing that juicy shit to my attention (eww). Thanks to Sam for the $10 and for the awesome soccer stuff... I'm sweating all over the t-shirt baby.

07.21.05 Show #36
Nerdcast Podcore
Download the mp3 here! time: 36:35

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Check out S.G., inc. in the New York Times!!!

--
Send me to the media expo, and while you're at it win these fabulous prizes!! Thanks to everyone who has helped out so far! We're soo close to getting Ryan to the expo, and ever closer to picking a terribly lucky winner... you could get...
A Behringer Eurotrack UB802 mixer, an MXL990 Condenser Mic with Shockmount, a Pop filter, HA-G33 Closed Cup Headphones, and a Lo-Z Microphone Cable (to be entered in the raffle, donate $10 or more to the Expo fund or send at least 30 seconds of original SG related audio stuff to soccergirlincorporated@gmail.com. The drawing will be on August first. Good luck!)

I'll touch myself the whole night through if you vote at podcast alley!

2005-07-21T13:10:00.000-05:00

2005-07-20T12:02:00.000-05:00

This is a calendar-number-3-inspired logo submission from anonymous. Disturbing and hilarious at once.

07.18.05 #35 Our fake blood is REAL (contains at least 0.1% real blood)

2005-07-19T10:21:00.000-05:00

I'd love it if you'd play this SG, inc contest promo on your show!!

Chris O's little tune starts off the show and then Ryan and I discuss my sg identity. I tell him that I DON'T want to do it to my real boss, but that corn starch and water are a great combination. He doesn't know anything about it so I show him with some actual corn starch that seemed to appear, as if by magic, just in time for the experiment. Now all we need is red and we've definitely got blood on our hands. Corn starch doesn't go bad. It's like diamonds. I tell you about how I was a weird and deluded 13-year-old who believed in Santa and the Tooth Fairy. I even had a complicated theory to explain the economics behind fanciful entity gift giving. Then you get to hear some great audio entries for the contest from the newly invented Rouge Radio, Robert G., and Mark B (who just might have had a few too many). Nlinus, would you stop it already! Suzanne Somers looks vaguely nightmarish with a cartoon car around her waist. I didn't know how to be a good enough girl to make him better.

07.18.05 Show #35
Our fake blood is REAL (contains at least 0.1% real blood)
Download the mp3 here! time: 32:39

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Here's Somers in The Blond in the Thunderbird

Read the review here

--
Send me to the media expo, and while you're at it win these fabulous prizes!!
A Behringer Eurotrack UB802 mixer, an MXL990 Condenser Mic with Shockmount, a Pop filter, HA-G33 Closed Cup Headphones, and a Lo-Z Microphone Cable (to be entered in the raffle, donate $10 or more to the Expo fund or send at least 30 seconds of original SG related audio stuff to soccergirlincorporated@gmail.com. The drawing will be on August first. Good luck!)

I'll touch myself for even longer if you vote at podcast alley!

07.14.05 #34 Electronic lust

2005-07-14T11:25:00.000-05:00

I'd love it if you'd play this SG, inc contest promo on your show!!
Some phat rhymes to start that aren't all fucked up for a change. I finally have a quick promo for the big fat bulldoglive.com podcasting kit contest! If you want to play it on your show, I'll be really pleased with you and your hot body. Additionally, if anyone wants to collaborate with me on a podcast pickle-esque collaboration for the contest promo stuff, I'd love it a lot. I GET TO GO TO THE EXPO!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you everyone so much for making my dreams come true. Now we're working on getting Ryan there too. Oh joy. Watch out for rat urine on your soda cans (I now know it's a hoax). Please don't hate me for playing a few unbearable seconds of the Special Skills Center's production of White Christmas. Check out the Raidercast who's promo I should have played ages age. Big fat thank yous to Jasan Salas of Digital Pontification for his kind words, and to nlinus and Audra of Culture Cafe for their sweet shout out. Don't forget about that pesky PCA mofos and don't miss the latest podalliance extravaganza.

07.14.05 Show #34
Electronic lust
Download the mp3 here! time: 25:46

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Check the Raidercast, Culture Cafe, and Digital Pontification

--Watch out for Rat urine on your coke can, or this could happen to you and then you'll die (I already told you once!)

--
Send me to the media expo, and while you're at it win these fabulous prizes!!
A Behringer Eurotrack UB802 mixer, an MXL990 Condenser Mic with Shockmount, a Pop filter, HA-G33 Closed Cup Headphones, and a Lo-Z Microphone Cable (to be entered in the raffle, donate $10 or more to the Expo fund or send at least 30 seconds of original SG related audio stuff to soccergirlincorporated@gmail.com. The drawing will be on August first. Good luck!)

I'll touch myself for a really long time if you vote at podcast alley!!! (I'll probably touch myself anyway, but I'll do it with increased vigor and sexyness)

One more time: me wearing the teeniest shirt ever thanks to Blue...

07.09.05 #33 Soccergirl's a wicked good rapper (I hope you know I'm kidding)

2005-07-10T13:03:00.000-05:00

Some phat rhymes to start. Then I play the first audio submissions for the expo contest and one of them features what I think might be a man with no balls. Really. (thanks anonymous and Darth Monkee). Blue from The Simian Syndicate sent us a package full of cool stuff and you get to hear a little of one of his songs. Check out my website for some pictures of me wearing the teeniest shirt ever. I swear, Blue, you did that on purpose! We're getting ever closer to our Expo goals, thanks so much everyone! I get an apropos audio comment. Creepy? yes. Does it turn me on? Also yes. Don't forget to check out bulldoglive.com, SG, inc.'s favorite philanthropist!

07.09.05 Show #33
Soccergirl's a wicked good rapper (I hope you know I'm kidding)
Download the mp3 here! time: 15:05

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--
Send me to the media expo, and while you're at it win these fabulous prizes!!
A Behringer Eurotrack UB802 mixer, an MXL990 Condenser Mic with Shockmount, a Pop filter, HA-G33 Closed Cup Headphones, and a Lo-Z Microphone Cable (to be entered in the raffle, donate $10 or more to the Expo fund or send at least 30 seconds of original SG related audio stuff to soccergirlincorporated@gmail.com. The drawing will be on August first. Good luck!)

I'll touch myself for a really long time if you vote at podcast alley!!! (I'll probably touch myself anyway, but I'll do it with increased vigor and sexyness)

Here are the photos I promised you:
Me wearing the teeniest shirt ever thanks to Blue...

Botar's weird mouth light things...

in the dark...

Free speech? Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

07.07.05 #32 Contest Announced! Bathcast! I'm cumming all over everything!

2005-07-08T12:44:00.000-05:00

Bathcast action for your listening pleasure. I read you some sexy teenage girl erotica and tell you all about the excellent stuff that I've been dying to tell you about forever!

Send me to the media expo, and while you're at it win these fabulous prizes!!
A Behringer Eurotrack UB802 mixer, an MXL990 Condenser Mic with Shockmount, a Pop filter, HA-G33 Closed Cup Headphones, and a Lo-Z Microphone Cable

Podcasting kit contest rules:

In order to have your name submitted to the Soccergirl Incorporated Podcasting Kit raffle, you can do one of two things: You can donate $10 or more to the "Send Soccergirl to the Media Expo" fund, or you can submit an original audio creation of at least 30 seconds to soccergirlincorporated@gmail.com. The audio submission should be relevant to Soccergirl, Incorporated, as it will be played on the show. I will let you know as soon as your name has been submitted. Your name can only be submitted once, but please feel free to send audio comments and/or donations from now until eternity. The random drawing will be on August 1st. The winner will be announced on the first Soccergirl, incorporated show following the drawing. All of you who have already donated to the Expo fund are automatically entered in the raffle.
Good luck everyone!!

07.04.05 Show #32
Contest Announced! Bathcast! I'm cumming all over everything!
Download the mp3 here! time: 23:48

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Huge thanks to Bulldogmedia.com, who donated all prizes and came up with the brilliant raffle idea that I subsequently stole. Check out bulldogmedia.com and show your appreciation too!

--More big thanks to Syd Allen of podcastfavorites.net for sponsoring this bathcast!

--Check out 5questions.net for my interview with Greg, the debonair host of, you guessed it, 5 Questions!

I'll touch myself for a really long time if you vote at podcast alley!!! (I'll probably touch myself anyway, but I'll do it with increased vigor and sexyness)

Free speech? Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

07.04.05 #31 The 1st Annual Controversial Podcast Convention and/or It’s like an orgasm to lick it

2005-07-04T15:55:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the first annual Nate and Di and Soccergirl Independance Day Controversial Cast Convention (NaDaSGIDCPC). We talk about all sorts of stuff... haunted nintendos, selling undies, dropping the pants, fucked up home town news, the apocalypse, stoned panic and so much more. We chatted for an hour, and I've edited it down to 30 minutes or so. For more of the conversation, head over to nateanddi.com! Listen to Dawn and Drew's dating game on Podcast 411 (Thanks Rob, for that sweet remark about the sexiest voices in podcasting). Sit in on a chat with the Barefoot Radio boys. Big thanks to Nate and Di, Rob from Podcast 411, Dawn and Drew, Ziva from The View From Here, Jeanette from PK and J and Paul from Barefoot Radio. These are all podcasts I really like man.

07.04.05 Show #31
The 1st Annual Controversial Cast Convention and/or It’s like an orgasm to lick it
Download the mp3 here! time: 49.07

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Check out the following podcasts:
The Nate and Di Show
Podcast 411
Barefoot Radio
Dawn and Drew
PK and J
The View from Here

I'll touch myself for a really long time if you vote at podcast alley!!! (I'll probably touch myself anyway, but I'll do it with increased vigor and sexyness)

Free speech? Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

06.30.05 #30 A beard as a dowry

2005-07-01T14:34:00.000-05:00

I start this one with a little note I recorded for the soon to be renamed Pickleman. Bill and Ted overstep their bounds. We all have our own El Guappo. Ryan joins me to talk about how sharks have big mouths and we should save the whales. There is a 90% chance that some in your life and mine, one of us will breathe the same air that Moses once "brothen" (says Ryan who doesn't actually believe this but who was quoting some other guy). I'm interested in Metal's conductivity (con Leche). Ryan is such an asshole about the toilet paper thing, but then we recount a story about the beginning of our love and I forgive him. This one is chock full of juicy stuff!

06.29.05 Show #30
A beard as a dowry
Download the mp3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Visit the nice boys over at Couch Potato Illustrated

--This isn't the picture Ryan was talking about, but it looks like it might be from the same era, and it's pretty neat.

It's the beginning of a new month! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE vote at podcast alley!!!

06.29.05 #29 Ryan takes over...again!

2005-06-30T13:23:00.000-05:00

Back by semipopular demand, Ryan P. hijacks the podcast again to inflict strange and interesting non-RIAA music on unsuspecting listeners. Was it good for you too?

06.27.05 Show #28
Ryan takes over. Again!
Download the mp3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera: (from SG)

Visit MC Frontalot...Download his tunes and send some lovin' his way!

06.27.05 #28 Sloppy piles

2005-06-28T12:10:00.000-05:00

My first submission for podalliance.com is five minutes of whack! I won't play it all here because I want you to listen to podalliance...but...oh baby...when you touch me like that I just can't resist...o.k. I'll play part of it but only if you blow me later. I discover postsecret.com, an incredible source of absolution (thanks bill and dan show!) I tripped one time and saw camels, just like in that Raggety Ann and Andy movie. Ryan calls me revolting names and tells me all about the hobbies of rock stars. We prance around for a while (Ryan does most of the prancing) smokin' and drinkin' (sorry about the crinkly plastic bag) and then you get to make fun of me for falling for a clever audio comment prank (a dose of my own medicine perhaps?) Darth Monkey makes me squirm with his accent and then the original podcastpickle promo SEXY XXX cut makes me squirm even more.

06.27.05 Show #28
Sloppy piles
Download the MP3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Instant absolution! Check out postsecret.com
--RaggedyAnn and Andy (do you guys remember this movie?)

Remember the camel with the wrinkled knees (who also happened to be on acid)?

Do you remember the scariest monster imaginable? I'm talking about The Greedy, of course...

If any of you find mp3 or wav clips from this movie, and then you send them my way, I'll kiss my hand in front of the mirror and pretend my hand is your wet lips (face lips or vaginal, your choice).

--Nominate sg, inc. for a podcast award or two at podcastawards.com
--Podcast alley #22!! It's almost the end of June!! Lets go out with a bang!
If you haven't voted yet, let the good times roll at podcastalley.com

06.23.05 #27 Bathcast 5: The photo shoot

2005-06-24T13:01:00.000-05:00

This is a mish mash of all kinds of things. I do a little freestyle, as is my habit these days. Hollywood Adam gets his theme song. Ryan and I do a bathcast photoshoot (because you asked for it guys!). If this doesn't save the Tasmanian Devil, then, well, I'm just flummoxed. Podcast Pickle hats are on their way! Speaking of Podcast Pickle, I play a little audio comment that I sent to Jason in Guam. His listeners spoke up in support of sg., inc., and I thank them for the solidatiry. Jason's show is cleverly called "Digital Pontification", check it out! Then I play a little snippit from Monday's Barefoot Radio in which Paul (the horse) gives us the inside scoop straight from his mouth. Also they say nice things about me which I really appreciate. Lastly, swoon while you listen to this Australian dreamboat.
note: I'm really dumb. I think the 40 hour work week combined with the 30 or so hour podcast week is scrambling my brains. I repeat myself in this show because I recorded different bits of it at all different times and I got confused. Also, I call podalliance.com podcastalliance.com. Sorry. I hope I didn't confuse anyone too much. I hope you can forgive me! New show coming tomorrow (6.28 [Tuesday])

06.23.05 Show #27
Bathcast 5: The photo shoot
Download the MP3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Digital Pontification (Jason't podcast in Guam)
--Barefoot Radio (with Paul who I totally want to bone)

There will be more bathcast pictures in the calendar area soon.
Check back!

--Nominate sg, inc. for a podcast award or two at podcastawards.com

--Podcast alley #22!! If you haven't voted yet for June, let the good times roll at podcastalley.com

SGINC-026 #26 Jesco White: The Dancing Outlaw (I'm tired of your sloppy, slimy eggs)

2005-06-21T15:20:00.000-05:00

We start off with an automated message from Microsoft Sam, and then head right into Jesco's automobile accident. Ryan and I laze around and pontificate. We're fascinated by the only known video of the now extinct Tasmanian Wolf (thanks earwitness!) Ryan thanks everyone for saying nice things about his Ryan Takes Over show. We chat a bit more about Ithaca and how good I am at training babies. Mean assholes suck and I'll tell you why. I don't define myself by my boobs. I love podcasting. Some more lapel mic news. Ryan smells and STILL can't remember the goddamn audio comment line number (206-600-4SEX). I get to suck on something. Finally, check out the always controversial Podcast pickle promo. More on that soon!

06.21.05 Show #26
Jesco White: The Dancing Outlaw (I'm tired of your sloppy, slimy eggs)
Download the MP3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Learn more about Jesco/Jesse/Elvis at the following links:
The Official Dancing Outlaw Homepage
Julie's Dancing Outlaw Page
Ruthless Reviews: The Dancing Outlaw

--Watch this amazing clip of the extinct Tasmanian Wolf! (this is the only known footage of the animal, sent to me by earwitness.)

--Nominate sg, inc. for a podcast award or two at podcastawards.com

--Podcast alley #22!! If you haven't voted yet for June, let the good times roll at podcastalley.com

Novacaine's got the real hard news...

2005-06-21T10:13:00.000-05:00

click here for the full size image

06.19.05 #25 This is the definition of potential energy

2005-06-20T10:40:00.000-05:00

This weekend, Ryan and I took a little trip to visit our friends in Ithaca. They have a baby. We could have tried breast milk, but it was frozen and we're particular about such things (or maybe I just forgot it and Ryan's pissed). I hustled some good stuff off their hippie neighbors who seemed to like my boobies. A lot. We played hippie music with them for a while and played with their dog which is named Djembe (yes, like the drum hippies use). We played "Truth or Dare" and I had to lap milk out of a little bowl while I wore a real live dog collar and little else. I had to take my friend Laura's shirt off with my teeth. Ryan was too much of a wus to pick anything but truth, of course. Actually, I don't think any of that is even in the final cut. We do talk about beard maintenance, 9 repeating, nuts, the percentage of cyberspace that is devoted to pornography, etc., etc. Podcastalley # 23!!! Don't forget to check out podcastawards.com, and to nominate sg, inc. for the listener's choice and mature categories (you know it makes me crazy when you do it to me, voters!)

06.19.05 Show #25
This is the definition of potential energy
Download the MP3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:
--Check out these excellent logos from kick ass listeners!

Thanks Campbell! (note: this is not my ass)

Thanks Mafalda! It's weird to look at my breast repeating. Kind of like 9 and 3, but with a nipple.
--Nominate sg, inc. for a podcast award or two at podcastawards.com
--Podcast alley #23!! If you haven't voted yet for June, let the good times roll at podcastalley.com

2005-06-17T12:26:00.000-05:00

Ryan and I are going to visit some music playin' pals this weekend in Ithaca. I've got the iRiver, I've got the camera, and best of all I've got some funny ideas for show #25. It probably won't be out until Monday. In the meantime, think about these things: the pickle promo controversy is just ridiculous and breastfeeding rocks! Don't forget to vote at podcastalley.com!

Nominate your favorites!!!

2005-06-15T14:04:00.000-05:00

Check out this podcastawards.com contest!
I'm off to nominate some excellent casters, and if you guys would maybe nominate sg, inc. I'd be really happy about it! I'm not sure which categories we really fit into. I would say "mature" but does that mean adult or geriatric? (I ask this same question on the messageboard, but I thought it was worth repeating) be sure to read the rules first.

06.14.05 #24 You're barking up a pissed off tree

2005-06-15T11:36:00.000-05:00

Soccergirl "In A World" promo (from Starkastmedia.com) prefaces an angry little chat about Barbara Walters' disdain for public breastfeeding. Better watch out, because this little chat is followed by another that explores the twisted web of contemporary media and the branding of all I hold dear. Fuck that. I hate our downstairs neighbors already because they maliciously stole my sneaker. Ryan and I go at it as show #24 gives you a peek into our complicated little heads, all tangled gears and sprockets and complicated pulley systems that refuse to be organized by imposed structural criteria. Hear the cry of an ACTUAL Tasmanian Devil sent by Earwitness.
P.S. To the corporate email guy: You can't copyright me because I already am me so I think that means my claim to me trumps yours unless I was sold into slavery when I wasn't looking. Also I already invented the cartoon superhero of myself so there.

06.14.05 Show #24
You're barking up a pissed off tree
Download the MP3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Visit the biggest breastfeeding bigot ever, and let him know what you think:
Byroncrawford.com

--Check out this funny picture (it was Ryan's idea, and his headphones)

06.13.05 #23 Ryan P. Takes Over!

2005-06-14T08:32:00.000-05:00

While Soccergirl isn't looking, I (Ryan P.) hijack the show to bring you
twenty-five minutes of audio weirdness from around the world and across time. Calm down, though, because Soccergirl will be back in charge by the next podcast.
Is this the first of an occasional series? Only time will tell. Look for a new Ryan P. Takes Over! section on the Soccergirl, Incorporated message board, coming soon.

06.13.05 Show #23
Ryan P. Takes Over!
Download the MP3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

Here's the URL of the essay referred to in
the podcast:
http://www.furious.com/perfect/pulnoc.html

Plastic People- enemies of the state (friends of SG, inc.) (I added this) (I=soccergirl) (I get credit for the cool picture is what I'm saying)

06.12-05 #22 The Yamaha demo is remarkably similar to the music of my heart

2005-06-13T12:23:00.000-05:00

Introducing the Yamaha Portasound PSS 80. A good sampler and a sweet freestyle remind you that I've got some kickin toys and a groove that makes you bounce, baby. Shout out to SG, inc.'s buddy Jason in Guam and a little sound clip from his show. I walk home real late after the Viking Youth Power Hour gets me all fired up. An anonymous listner sent me $200 for a lapel mic!!! Any suggestions re: make and model? Some hot new Tasmanian Devil pictures (remember, Tasmanian Devils get dirty all the time in Tasmania.) If you like the pictures, thank Ryan, if you think they're gross, you and he can comisserate. Either way, you've got to admit that this is some serious dedication to a cause. Announcing my new little store and explaining how the hell I could afford it (and how you could too) Finally, I talk about something sexy for the caller.

06.12.05 Show #22
The Yamaha demo is remarkably similar to the music of my heart
Download the MP3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Check out the February episode of the Viking Youth Power Hour that got me so fired up. Episode 6. Also you should check out other episodes of this really excellent show.

--Find Jason in Guam's podcast and blog here

--Build your very own store at cafepress.com

--Don't forget to send me all your lapel mic suggestions!

--Also, don't forget to check out the new Tasmanian Devil pictures! (these ones are dirty!)

--Should you find yourself without a project, doodle out a little SG logo! I've got the bathcaster now, but I'm always in the market for new ones! Check out this one, sent by Campbell:

(also, it would be lovely if you voted at podcastalley and added sg, inc. to your favorites on podcastpickle-- I'd love that)

NEW SG INC STORE!!

2005-06-10T15:39:00.000-05:00

Pimp my shit and look hot while you do it!
Soccergirl styles

You can snatch my little banner for links, if you like.

06.08.05 #21 Better than bad, it's good

2005-06-09T10:48:00.000-05:00

We're safely on the new server, the messageboard is working, and I'm pleased as punch! We chat in the Walmart parking lot about the impending extinction of both the Tasmanian Devil the animal and the Tasmanian Devil-- America's once popular, delightful cartoon glutton. Remember that one spinoff about the Taz family? What was that about? Get a little taste of our friend Travis (this is a good part, I think). I got a great audio submission and a photo op with Zach Morris. Hear the voice over man's promo and my pathetic attempts to voice over just like him. Finally, a special show extension in which I explain about the digital camera (thanks, everyone, for the amazing donations!) and read from my cousin Justin's Cairo travel update. Ah, it feels good to be back!

06.05.05 Show #20
Better than bad, it's good
Download the MP3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

--Find The Area 51 show (the guys who are hosting my bad self) at: bonsaidigital.com/area51
(also check out Noah... link at right)

-- Check out the Starkcast (who's promo is featured in this episode)

--The awesome audio submission submitter for this episode would like you to keep your eyes peeled for Snacks4theBrain! (not sure what it is, but apparently it's coming soon)

--Please follow this link for a brilliant music video from my new boyfriend (I wish) Thanks for sending me the link, Big E!

--Should you find yourself without a project, doodle out a little SG logo! I'm having a hard time coming up with a good design on my own. And DON'T FORGET TO SEND AUDIO SUBMISSIONS!!! Only 2 hats left!!! (also, it would be lovely if you voted at podcastalley and added sg, inc. to your favorites on podcastpickle-- I'd love that)

Paul from Barefoot Radio knows what I like

2005-06-08T10:14:00.000-05:00

Back in business!!

2005-06-07T11:59:00.000-05:00

As you may have noticed, the url of the main page has changed slightly as it is now being hosted by blogspot. I thought this might be a good idea so that I can avoid losing any posts here etc. Hopefully the boards will be up soon, again, thanks to Noah. They along with all my mp3s etc. are hosted by purecastmedia.com (who I owe a good bathcast) The feed for the show is the same as before. Phew. It was a harrowing few days, but, like a treatment resistant bacterium, if you don't totally get rid of me the first time I rage back even stronger than before. grrrr!

06.05.05 #20 SG, inc. saved! and/or Diaphragms are the new diapers

2005-06-06T11:53:00.000-05:00

SG, inc. is back and badder than ever! Anonymous coward's lovely song starts off another Ryan P. spectacular. Purecastmedia.com, my new hosting company, is also my new bedfellow. I wish. I got a terrible sunburn because I'm a martyr for my sugar snap peas. (check out the burn, below). Ryan kills a huge jump-attack spider that surely sould have caused me serious harm, and we introduce you to a term I coined: the Throw Up Junior.
Thanks everyone for your wonderful emails, comments, and generous offers of help!
Thank you Syd, for your amazing $150 donation! Finally, a formal and long overdue thank you to GlimmerTwin for our Diva David magnets. phew.

06.05.05 Show #20
SG, inc. saved! and/or Diaphragms are the new diapers
Download the MP3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:
--Check out this nasty burn... Sugar snap peas, you better be damn tasty!

--Find The Area 51 show (the guys who are hosting my bad self) at: bonsaidigital.com/area51
--Find my wonderful donor Syd's blog at: jagular.com

06.04.05 #19 Save SG, inc.!

2005-06-04T12:04:00.000-05:00

This is a quick announcement about the dumping of sg, inc. from bigfishhosting.net. We're in trouble! In 72 hours my account will be terminated all because of nipples. That's right. Nipples. Apparently they didn't realize that sg, inc. was adult in nature until too late. I need help! Ideas, comments and suggestions are all very welcome, but you better email them to me just in case they decide to terminate me prematurely.
More show later. Just wanted to get the word out there since I have precious little time.

06.04.05 Show #19
Save SG, inc.!
Download the MP3 here!
(this little announcement is just that--little--Weighing in at 3 minutes and 44 seconds.)
Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:
--This is the gratuitous bigfishhosting.net cleavage shot, featured on their home page.

Apparently, boobies are fine, it's just nipples that aren't. Bigfishhosting hates my nipples. Well they hate you right back!

More information coming soon.

06.02.05 #18 Save the Tasmanian Devils!

2005-06-03T09:12:00.000-05:00

Solo SG (except for a little interlude), this one starts off with a little insight into the life of a celebrity. I get to fuck Xena, Mulder and Scully all before work. A scary theme song you might recognize is followed by tales of a phone sex operator. I reveal the theme for January in the upcoming Soccergirl Calendar (this will be way better than the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar). Save the Tasmanian Devil! ATTENTION KATE WINSLET--Ryan would cut off his beard if you slept with him (see Ryan for information regarding certain caveats). Please, guys, send me cool audio stuff before I cry, or before I decide to keep all the pickle hats for my damn self. Speakinf of contests, I FINALLY send your presents, past contest winners, and I bring you with me on a harrowing drive through town while I do it. Hurray for voting! We're right up there... thanks everyone, and keep it up. If you keep voting I'll keep doing my part, promise.

06.02.05 Show #18
Save the Tasmanian Devil
Download the MP3 here!

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:
--The latest Dawn and Drew features the sg dippin' dots song!!!

Welcome to Tasmania! Home of the Tasmanian Devil...

Unfortunately, the tasmanian Devil population has been ravaged by a strange and 100% fatal cancerous malady called Devil Facial Tumor Disease, in which large tumors grow over the poor devil's face and neck, preventing him from eating or drinking. Scientists still don't know what the hell the disease is, but think it might be a retrovirus, communicated from one devil to another through ingestion of the infected tissue. This is what the infected devils look like:

There is some effort being made to quarantine seemingly healthy devils for future repopulation, but there is no guarantee that the quarantined few are disease free, or that the rampant fox population (a European import that competes with the devils for food) would tolerate their reintroduction. I'm horrified by this guys. It's the cause for January in the Soccergirl calendar.
See what you can do to help! Visit these links to find out more:
National Geographic News
Islam online
Seattlepi.com

05.30.05 #17 I'm Blowin' Out the Circuits

2005-05-31T09:43:00.000-05:00

This 'aint no auction for pigs. I start off this round with a little spoken word action. We're hot as fuck, but melting just for you. Ryan P. features prominently in this episode, and starts it off by removing his pants. We tell you all about the fabulous new records we got from the asshole in Woodstock. What did you do today? Ryan was actually eating a pickle during recording. It was his podcast pickle. Get it? Speaking of which, the Podcastpickle hat contest is still going strong. Send your submission today! We finally give tribute to Noah for all his website help. Ryan and I trade stories about awkward work situations with people who are, well, pretty crazy. Let them eat cake is what I always say. Then I actually give it to 'em. Fuck you Marie Antoinette. On second thought, fuck you French Revolution as a whole (that part isn't in the show, I just think it). Ryan injects my earbud into my skull, but the violence is in keeping with his sordid cheating past. Unfortunately I've got some sordid past to account for (shhh, don't tell the babysitting lisencers) What's that smell? Spaghetti, I guess. Presenting the Contemporary Boys: Sg, inc.'s new boy band! Strawberry virgin-sex condoms. Sweet end song and sweet audio comment bring this sg, inc. show number 17 to a close. (p.s. send Ryan a butt plug and/or anal beads, stat!)

05.30.05 Show #17
I'm Blowin' Out the Circuits
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml
Watch this fantastic movie of ryan drinking his staple Evan Williams and rockin out to the credits song of "Real Genius", also known as "Everybody wants to rule the world" by Tears for Fears

Presenting: Ryan and Tears for Fears
(I think you need a quicktime player to watch it. You can get one at: apple.com)

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:
-- Skinnier than all get out? Where the hell did this phrase come from, and why haven't I ever heard it?
-- Once more... NOAH!
--Correction: Big League Chew (not gum, obviously) Interested in learning more about this stringy delight? I was...

bigleaguechew.com
--Saved by the Bell. I can't get enough.

These people are even more obsessed than I am.

p.s. My birthday is September 25th
p.p.s. May is almost up! Remember to vote at PCA for June! If not for fairweather Ryan P. than for me, because I love the shit out of you, listeners.
P.P.P.s.This is my new wacky aloe plant. I'm in love.

05.29.05 #16 Bathcast #4 Full Metal Corset part II

2005-05-29T23:21:00.000-05:00

This show starts with a dope freestyle. In Bathcast #4 I read you the end of the erotic story we started in BC #3. Hear about Aileen's run-in with the corset from hell, which I can only surmise is made of titanium or adamantium or something since the pock-marked guy says it's indestructible. Ryan cheats hardcore at Trivial Pursuit, and a really dreamy sounding Englishman leaves a steamy audio comment for yours truly. Thanks again for all the PCA votes, and the Pickle favorites too!
Noah, (http://noahk17.blogspot.com) I ran out of time on this one, but then on show #17 I make up for it. Sorry, I hope you forgive me! (p.s. Ryan and I really enjoyed that pizza you bought us!)

Podcast Pickle hat contest! Awesome prize awarded to: Anonymous Coward for his brilliant soccergirl song. So far he's the only winner... Get on the ball, listeners!
You should keep the contest's slogan in mind:
YOU GIVE ME A HARD-ON, I GIVE YOU A HAT

05.29.05 Show #16
Bathcast #4 Full Metal Corset part II
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- Check out Paul's sg reference on the latest Barefoot Radio. (I gave him a boner. Rock!)

-- Send all audio submissions (cause I wanna hear you, baby) to soccergirlincorporated@gmail.com, and win a devastatingly sexy podcastpickle hat (below)

-- Again, check out my buddy Noah at: http://noahk17.blogspot.com

-- Find out more about the weird pop culture dvd trivial pursuit Ryan was cheating at, at:
trivialpursuit.com

-- Check out this conjoined twin. Talk about cinchy double penetration... Yowza!

New website experiment!

2005-05-27T17:12:00.000-05:00

Noah said he was gonna redesign things, but here's my attempt at it. I think it's a little cleaner and stuff, but still not quite right. Ah well. Eventually.

05.25.05 #15 This would make double penetration cinchy

2005-05-25T15:25:00.000-05:00

This is a long one, but worth every second. A sweet tribute intro by Ryan, uh, I mean Soccergirl, is followed by a discussion of PK and J's cup size retraction. Noah, my website fixing god, is WONDERFUL. Find his blog and podcast at: http://noahk17.blogspot.com (more on how wonderful he is on show #16).

This is what he wrote about SG, inc.:
'' Last night I fell asleep listening to some of these Podcasts around midnight. At some point during the night I woke up when Soccergirl was on. I literally found myself laughing out loud (lol) at 4am in the morning! It was the Bath Cast #3 edition... you know where you get to hear Soccergirl naked? Anyhow when she started reading the porn story, I couldn't take it anymore. I immediatly got up, went over to my computer, and started to download all the previous episodes. Then I finished up that Podcast, and went back to sleep.

[this is so great! Thanks, Noah]

This morning I woke up to go visit my grandmother for dinner. On the long one hour drive to see her I got through another two of Soccergirl's Podcasts. I finally got to hear her boyfriend (I assume), Ryan talk, and it turns out I really like this guy. I think he may be a W. Bush fan, but I could be wrong, but if I'm not then Ryan rocks. I know Soccergirl probably voted for Kerry, which just goes to prove that sometimes women ARE wrong.''

[grrr. Moving on...]

Chang and Eng and the joys of siamese twin sex (but does that count as a threesome?) Listen to Ryan talk about when he committed acts of political mischief (sorry State Senator Steve Saland). Dance Dance Revolution. ATTENTION MONGOLIAN LISTENERS. DnD link to SG, inc. Ryan peed on my head. I hate spiders. We grill babies... you get the picture.

Podcast Pickle hat contest ANNOUNCED! Awesome prize awarded to: Anonymous Coward for his brilliant soccergirl song. (check me out in the hat you could win below!)

05.25.05 Show #15
This would make double penetration cinchy
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- Thanks DnD!!!

-- Again, check out my buddy Noah at: http://noahk17.blogspot.com

--Interested in finding out more about Chang and Eng (I sure was). Check out these links:
http://phreeque.tripod.com/chang_eng.html
http://wilkesboro.com/OldWilkesInc/engchang.htm
http://engandchang.twinstuff.com/
This would make double penetration cinchy.

The hat you could win...

You know you wish you were this bad ass

05.22.05 #14 Hangin' with the boys, jammin with the band, Henry IV

2005-05-22T11:36:00.000-05:00

We're off to Massachusetts for the weekend to be a good sister and attend Eliza's performance of Henry IV. When we arrive, we find a house full of 18-20 year-old boys who are really REALLY excited about being a part of episode 14. They're also excited about SG's boobs, but can't talk about it much for fear of her little bro's wrath, since they're all his friends... I mean, that's why they're there after all. The cast of characters might be a little tricky to figure out at first, but it's sure to unfold as the show progresses and we all relax with a little help from the band. These guys you've met are the band, my brother's band, and we jam for hours. Obviously I've edited the hours down to a matter of minutes, but it was a little tricky to get the breaks in the right places. Jam sessions are my personal audio nightmare. Still, despite the somewhat disjointed quality of the thing, you'll get a feel for the rock and the comedy. I hope. You'll get to hear my sister's lovely Welsh song! In the news, Sg, inc. is now a proud member of Podcastoutlaws! (see link, right) Show 15 will bring you news of the Podcastpickle contest, our first formal interview and hopefully a good heavy dose of Ryan. P. (and by that I mean a thick load for you to lick right off my tits). He's been savin' it up for ya, and he's about to explode.

05.22.05 Show #14
Hangin' with the boys, jammin with the band, Henry IV
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

The cast of characters:
Soccergirl
Sg's brother, Jake, and sister, Eliza
Jake's band: Wit (doesn't talk much, but he's on piano. An interesting thing about Wit is that he's 6'6" tall.)
Danny P. (Can't get him to stop talking! He gets me the pizza. He's on guitar and sings some. He's a funny one who really likes sex)
Alex (We grew up with him. He lives down the street. He's on guitar and has a cute laugh. He's hanging out with me while we wait for the pizza)
Chris (Not in the band, but great friends with all of 'em. We grew up with him too)
Kit (Jake's girlfriend... I think she's in there for a second)

The Flux Factory I keep forgetting to post this. It's the place where my friend Ian designes that writer's area for the project entitled, "Novel" Lots of my other buddies live there too.

05.20.05 #13 The PK and J Third or The dippin' dots guy is the stuff of nightmares

2005-05-20T11:32:00.000-05:00

Shit. The last several days have been absolutely overwhelming! Three incredible things happened and you'll have to listen to the show to hear about them, but here's a quick hint:
1) The Podcast Pickle contest has made me a really happy caster

2) PK AND J!!!! Especially the boobie song
3) Podcastalley number 48!!!
I talk about all of these things, but also: dippin' dots (I sing about them too) and the Mall of America. I get before and after bathcast audio comments from the man I now call "Mister Masterbator" but who other people call "Poundcake" of the Simian Syndicate (check out the syndicate soon for a sexy intro by yours truly!). PK and J announce their latest contest. The prize is a picture of the picture of my boobies that I sent them. I don't know about you, but I'm playing. Also, they play our prank from SG, inc show #6. J still hadn't figured it out, but PK was hip. She knew I wasn't English! I can't bathcast because suddenly the water coming out of the tap is black. No joke. I make up for it with an SG and J duet. A sweet show to counteract unucky number 13.

05.20.05 Show #13
The PK and J Third or The dippin' dots guy is the stuff of nightmares
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- PK and J. Thanks again for making me dance around in excitement. Find their show (and the contest for boobie pictures) at: pkandjshow.com

-- If you're like me, you REALLY want to know who the hell invented dippin' dots. Click here to find that and other fascinating dippin' dot info. Perhaps I should say, I really WANTED to know. Perhaps I should have researched the history of dippin' dots before shooting my mouth off so carelessly. P.S. I promised that I'd give you, dippin' dots inventor, oral sex as a gesture of my appreciation for your invention. However, um, Mister. Curt Jones (below) is a little creepy looking. I'm not saying I lied, just that I might need lots and LOTS of free dippin' dots to sweeten the deal. no pun intended.
Uh. here you have him. Presenting... the inventor of everyone's favorite "Dippin' Dots"...CURT JONES! (who's dick I promised to suck... oops)

Is it just me, or does he look like a stranger offering candy to a child he plans on abducting, molesting and then selling into slavery overseas? Were dippin' dots made so damn delicious in order to be used for evil? Is the fact that they appear only in environments geared towards attracting hordes of children a clue to an insidious conspiricy between Curt Jones and "Wonderland"'s own Michael Jackson?
Oh lord. What have I gotten myself into. Be gentle, Curt.

05.18.05 #12 Bathcast #3: "Full Metal Corset"

2005-05-18T11:30:00.000-05:00

Bathcast #3!!! I finally got the iRiver, and experiment to my little heart's content (in more ways than one, baby). I play a few promos; one for Podcast Pickle, where, as you probably know, Sg, inc. has a comfy place of honor thanks to all of you guys, the other for the Smaxo and Jeff Show. I got some wine for this bathcast, and, while it 'aint no Chicken Blood (Botar), it's cheap. I'll drink it while I read you some scintillating erotica. We're about to do it when my sister interrupts (typical), and, again, you'll probably call me a tease... in a good way... really. I finish up with some sweet sleepy pillow-talk. Thanks again for all your iRiver support my loves. Keep calling that comment line! If you send me emails with "OK TO AIR" in the subject line, I'll read them on the show. Be unscensored. Be dirty. Most of all, make me want it. P.S. Thanks again to Glimmer Twin for the excellent cross dressing David magnets! My kitchen has never looked this fabulous.

05.18.05 Show #12
Bathcast #3: "Full Metal Corset"
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

Shout outs, show notes, ephemera:

-- Le Show, a kick ass radio show by Harry Shearer on NPR, is now available as a podcast! Find it at:http://www.harryshearer.com/leshow/

-- My apologies to Neal Shaffer, who's link I rudely forgot to post yesterday.
Here you have a "shout outs, show notes, ephemera" place of honor. I hope you still love me!
p.s. You guys should read his blog. Some interesting stuff for sure.
**http://www.leftwich.blogspot.com**

05.17.05 #11 The Minnesota wedding / push-button pizza show

2005-05-17T11:28:00.000-05:00

This is a big, rip roarin' humdinger of an episode! Finally, I'm back from Minnesota, and holy crap did I have a good time. I start with my heartfelt words of love, since I missed you all so much. I was going crazy without you! The stupid iRiver didn't arrive because they tried to deliver it after I left... long story short, my idiocy has been compounded by dumn "luck". Ryan's dad was exhausted from the wedding party, but Ryan and I were just getting started. We watched an excellent movie starring Mark Paul Goselaar (of Saved by the Bell fame). We got all effed up and theorized about immediate pizza delivery buttons, wealthy and/or privelaged Americans spreading the marital love to the Fijian people, Ryan's my voice box, Ryan's 84 year-old Grandpa is my new boyfriend (but I almost killed him by accident), I think ice slices are like cold daggers. Drew Domkus left an audio comment! Does that make me famous? I end it with a quaint little Princess Bride tribute.

05.17.05 Show #11
The Minnesota wedding / push-button pizza show
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

Shout outs, show notes, whatever:

-- PK, thanks for your generous offer of technical support. You might want to retract it before I go ballistic. On the other hand, maybe you're into that.

-- Le Show, a kick ass radio show by Harry Shearer on NPR, is now available as a podcast! Find it at: http://www.harryshearer.com/leshow/

--Learn about the cinematic masterpiece: White Wolves: a cry in the wild 2
Remarkably, the first 'White Wolves' must have been good enough to warrant the sequel. Apparently the first one was based on a book called 'Hatchet'. I wonder if super fox Elizabeth Berkeley was in it.
If so, it's going on my Amazon.com wish list immediately.

05.10.05 #10 Last show before our mass exodus to MN (I get in some real trouble, guys!)

2005-05-10T11:23:00.000-05:00

Double-digits! (10 on the 10th) The last show before we leave is packed! Some great promos, my friend in the New York Times, and my seriously stupid move that'll definitely get me in trouble, but that makes my pussy so wet none-the-less.
I have a few questions, a new contest idea, and a great audio clip I stole from the internet. Podcastpickle rules. I give you the low down on the Podcast411 interview (in April Rob interviewed V.P. candidate John Edwards and now he's interviewing us!) I'll be set up with my new hosting company real soon... Thanks so much to bigfishhosting.net! (see below)

05.10.05 Show #10
Last show before our mass exodus to MN (I get in some real trouble, guys!)
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

Show notes: (this section is new, so any suggestions are very much appreciated)
-- New York Times online
-- Bigfishhosting.net (these guys saved my life, and maybe yours)
-- Podcast411.com I have a crush on podsafe Rob

05.08.05 #9 Bathcast #2 (back by popular demand)

2005-05-08T11:22:00.000-05:00

As we near double-digits, I give you another solo show (with a tiny little Ryan P. appearance right at the end.) I told my dad about the show, and he's worried you guys might be weirdos. I try to assuage his fears (but you guys are pretty weird!!) Hear lots of announcements and shout outs to my favorites (including a little tribute to Nick Starr). I tell you about a nutso dream I had that featured Dawn and took place on the set of a pornographic movie starring us. We do a little dream analysis. I tell you about our upcoming trip to MN., and about how much I want an iriver! I play some really excellent tunes, and talk abous how much I HATE kim chee (and how much Ryan LOVES it. A new audio comment song is followed by some great calls. Thanks for listening, lovers!!

05.08.05 Show #9
Bathcast #2 (back by popular demand)
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

05.06.05 #8 A slice of heaven in the guise of an innocent little mp3

2005-05-06T11:20:00.000-05:00

This might very well be our best podcast to date! Ryan's healthy and rambunctious, we're both in great moods... it's off the hook! Hear all about how my grandfather didn't believe in dinosaurs, Ryan's misadventure in the mall bathroom, foxy boxing soccer, the taping of my first interview, the post-coital Adam and Eve debacle, WFMU, civil rights, Ryan's music store clerking days (and his perfect customer service rating), car mechanics who think Ryan knows something about car mechanics, masturbating while I think about nlinus (and if you call, I'll think about you next time), and so much more. It's about 46 minutes of entertainment (I'm allowed the time after the two mini-shows). Hence the title: "a slice of heaven in the guise of an innocent little mp3". Solid.

05.06.05 Show #8
A slice of heaven in the guise of an innocent little mp3
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

05.05.05 #7 The Bathcast

2005-05-05T11:18:00.000-05:00

[Show #8 with Ryan P. out tomorrow!]
Another short, sweet show. Poor Ryan P. is sick, so his scheduled appearance has been postponed until tomorrow. I wasn't going to do a show at all, but I missed you guys! I know it seems crazy, but I think we can have a good time without him right? We drink some Evan Williams Kentucky bourbon, I play you a few choice tracks from Ryan's collection (including one that's actually by Ryan P. himself!), I invent "Bathcasting" and then end it with a little gay marriage politics. All in all, this is a pretty cute little teaser... in more ways than one, baby. (p.s. it's 05.05.05 today!!)

05.05.05 Show #7
The Bathcast
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

05.01.05 #6 Meat burrito

2005-05-01T11:16:00.000-05:00

A short and sweet show for good old number 6. Hear about my first interview (coming May 8th [see above]). Also hear my new promo, meat burritos, another prank call, and my first listener comment. You play my promo, and I'll play yours! Just let me know. HA! We totally fooled the shit out of pk and j!!!!!!! Awesome.

05.01.05 Show #6
Meat burrito
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

04.29.05 #5 You did me so good!

2005-04-29T11:14:00.000-05:00

My first present arrives in the P.O. box! Ryan chills out with me for a bit but then I take you away from him and have my way with you. It was totally good for me. I got in trouble on podcastalley! We play a secret trick on another podcast. I sing the praises of Bigfishhosting.net who is my offical hero!

04.29.05 Show #5
You did me so good!
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

04.25.05 #4 Ryan P. and the ladies

2005-04-25T11:11:00.000-05:00

[two at once, can you handle it!?]

Ryan P. is back!!! Hear all about his life with the ladies. From Kindergarten to present day, Ryan P. has been one hilarious mother fucker: he showed his weiner, he sang a tribute, he went hog wild for my pussy.

04.25.05 Show #4
Ryan P. and the ladies
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

04.24.05 #3 The coolest of the crop

2005-04-24T10:57:00.000-05:00

I call my sister this time. She just got back from Prague. She's 16. It's fine with her that her big sister shows her boobies on the internet. She is my new sponser. Is this legal? Sorry about the bad sound. This is the last time, I promise!!!

04.24.05 Show #3
The coolest of the crop
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml

04.20.05 #2 Kick ass show with little bro

2005-04-20T10:55:00.000-05:00

Show 2 finds Soccergirl all alone because Ryan P. kicked her to the curb. Not to worry, hyjinks ensue when she calls her little brother and they chat about living away from home for the first time, his band, his tour, how awesome it is to have Soccergirl as a big sister, etc. Also, please tell me what to call my show and beware of the construction guys

04.20.05 Show #2
Kick ass show with little bro
Download the MP3 here!
Subscribe to my feed, baby: soccergirlincorporated.com/SGINC.xml